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Haidt illustrates that people who are more conservative managed to turn the actions of the other person into an
are good at focusing on detail and maintaining systems and attack on her. Here she was making her hens so very unhappy
practices, doing the finer work that liberals might struggle when this other person etc…
to focus on, work that is essential to keep the Church alive. So, her rule keeping wasn’t actually about believing
Conversely, liberals are good at seeing the bigger picture, in the rules, but about behaving in a socially acceptable
and developing new and larger visions that conservatives manner, and one that upset her. The actions of another
struggle with, and without which the Church would fail to touched this sore spot, and it was less challenging to make
grow. So it’s not a case of one group being right or wrong – the feelings that bubbled up the responsibility of someone
we actually really need each other if the Church is going to else, than to address her own inner conflict.
thrive and continue God’s work.
The fact we think in different ways, means we have to Disagreeing – agreeably?
work hard at communicating our ideas, and our faith to In the Church, I have frequently come across this sort of
others in ways that they can hear. It also means that we response to the choices others make and also to any form of
have to make space in our busy brains, with their existing proposed change. From the person who angrily pronounces
priorities and stories, to engage with the priorities and ‘If you move that pew, I will never darken the door of this
stories of others. church again’, to the ones who want to spend half the PCC
This is hard work. Not least because some of the stories meeting discussing who was bringing which cake to the
we live by have been there a very long time, and they have coffee morning, rather than follow the agenda.
shaped us in ways in which we’re not always aware. They In spite of the fact that I sometimes wanted to scream,
are stories about who we are, how good we are, how loved I knew that the pew and the cakes were really substitutes
we are – or not. They are stories about how we belong, and for something far deeper and more difficult to articulate
how we believe others see us. These stories are part of our or address. Christians are people who bring their histories,
unconscious mind, and they direct us, and limit us in our hopes and fears to Church, and it shouldn’t surprise us that
relationships, far more than we realise. there are sometimes conflicts when the different hopes and
fears collide.
A victim of another’s actions The image Jonathan Haidt uses in his book is a
I came across a post on a social media site a little while ago; particularly helpful one when we are trying to navigate Photo Credit: Jim Holdenl/Alamy Stock Photo
it was about the current avian flu outbreak, and the woman complex conversations. He calls it ‘The Elephant and
posting was expressing her frustration about what someone his Rider’. For so long, it was claimed that humans were
else was doing. In December, DEFRA put in place some governed by their reason and the gut instincts and emotions
measures, and these have been made law. They require could be kept in check. Haidt shows that this is not the case
owners, both commercial poultry farmers and those who at all. Rather, the emotions, gut reactions and instincts are
keep pet birds, to keep them under cover so that they can’t the serious driver in our behaviour and interactions: they
mix with the wild bird population. are the Elephant,
So, the woman whose post I read was expressing her reason is the little
upset about how her poor hens were unhappy that they man perched on
couldn’t free range. She had been out in her car and seen top of the animal,
that someone else had their chickens loose in the garden. attempting to
As I read her comment, I became aware that she was doing steer a course.
something quite complex. Whenever I
Firstly, she was upset about keeping her birds contained have witnessed
and she clearly didn’t feel she had anyone to reasonably churches engaging
blame for this. with challenging
Secondly, she was being obedient: DEFRA had imposed issues, not least
this law and she was sticking to it, in spite of the fact that it around change,
was detrimental to her hens and there was no outbreak of it has appeared
avian flu in her area, because it was ‘the right thing to do’ that the Elephants
as a law-abiding citizen. Sticking to the law meant making have pulled the
her pets unhappy, so she was experiencing some inner reins free and are
turmoil and guilt. running amok.
Thirdly, she was comparing herself to the person who The arguments
wasn’t keeping their hens in and being outraged by their become less
brazen disregard for the law. coherent and
It was the fourth thing she was doing that was considered
particularly interesting: she was making herself a victim of because the
the other person. All of her upset and frustration about the people are really
situation had been turned towards the person breaking the operating from
rules and how that was making her feel about keeping the their gut feelings.
rules herself. It can lead to
Another person might have driven past that garden and the same sort of
had a different set of thoughts and feelings, but she had response that
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